It has been two days since returning home from my Healing Touch Level 4 training. This level marks the beginning of the HT Practitioner Apprenticeship year and focuses on preparation for Level 5 graduation and Practitioner Certification. This four-day workshop at a retreat center in Chicago offered uninterrupted, in-depth study of healing techniques, professional practice is-sues, as well as, a safe, trusting environment to continue personal healing. Since returning from this remarkable experience, I have been asked a dozen or so times how I am doing. People seem to ask without expectation, as more of a greeting. We all do it. However, I have been tempted to replace the usual “fine, thanks” with the truth – “I’m processing.”
I suspect most people would not know what to make of that – and neither do I. The beauty of it is that, as I continue learning to follow my energy and that of others, I am making room for the mysterious changes that are unfolding within me. Part of that requires that I politely ask my rational brain to take a seat in the corner while my feelings take their turn.
I am not always so gracious toward my feelings. During the workshop, as my partner and I finished our third session together, with me as the HT practitioner, I notice the time and realize that I am encroaching on the second hour. If I do not finish, she will not have enough time to give me a full session. Rather than motivate me, the idea has a ho-hum effect. Well, I think, I do not really need a turn. Maybe due to the high vibrations in the room, I thankfully recognize this as the voice of fear. But fear of what?
I tell my partner, Kathy, about it, and complain of my thigh muscles feeling tight. She begins our session and after a moment has me turn onto my stomach. As she works on my back I cannot help but think that she may be off base. My shoulders are feeling pleasantly tingly, but shouldn’t we do some serious work? By the time we finish and head to our lunch break, I know that serious work is exactly what has happened. I cannot seem to stay grounded. I try to eat but feel waves of anxiety. More than anything, I want to be alone, outside, preferably lying face down in the grass. But I do not want to miss the lunchtime conversations with Level 5 participants, who are sharing this weekend with us and providing valuable insight, support, and encouragement.